So, tonight I had my first counselling session.
And probably my last.
The therapist, who had an annoying, and probably stress related, repetitive tic/face scrunch type thing going on, really didn't know anything about adoption but assumed her many years as a single parent of 2 now grown up secure, well adjusted, attached children, qualified her to tell me how to parent my traumatised, unattached, insecure children.
Although my middle son does NOT have attachment problems, it can still be frustrating when people dismiss his real challenges - the ones that are almost certainly because of transitioning familes as a baby - as "normal". It's even more frustrating when that comes from a professional who is *supposed* to be helping. I can only imagine what this Mom goes through - without being able to point to bio-kids to SHOW she isn't clueless, and with children who have faced worse trauma than transtion. But she expresses it here w/ humor and aplomb.
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January 6, 2013 at 2:08 pm
Idebenone
Ya know, I’m tired of this scenario. Single mom struggling. First of all when you “choose” to create a family, you “choose” the responsibility. No one can write a life book. No one can give you a table of contents in what to expect out of life, a marriage, etc. and what will go wrong or what will go right. Choosing to be self-employed is a chosen responsibility. Choosing to have children is a responsibility. Choosing to divorce your spouse to whatever reason is a responsibility. And…Choosing to raise children even though you may be divorced is still the responsibility of “both” parents. Read between the lines people. When you filed your divorce what did “yall” choose as parents to insure that the children are not financially affected. When whinning that you are a single parent, mentioning alimony and child support need to be included and not sweep under the carpet. I raised my girls by myself without any alimony or child support. Married a 3rd time and ended up with 2 more children. All our children in are in college and one has her own business. Moral of this story….Pick up your big girl panties, stop whinning about what you don’t have and spend more time embracing the joys you do have. Single parenting is mostly a choice. It has been going around for decades. This young mom is not the first and surely will not be the last. Airing it out in the newspaper is a waste of time.
January 7, 2013 at 2:25 pm
momsomniac
You might want to read a post before you comment, especially if you’re going to be judgmental. The ONLY single Mom in this post was the counselor – neither the reblogged original-poster nor I are single parents.
The post was about adoptive parenting and attachment disorders.
I really hope this was SPAM pretending to be a real comment.
January 26, 2013 at 2:08 pm
thefamilyof5
Thank you momsomniac, couldn’t have put it better myself. I’m often guilty of ‘skim reading’ as I’m sure many of us are, but I’ve never been as narrowminded as to judge/comment like that.
January 26, 2013 at 2:16 pm
momsomniac
I thought about just deleting it, but then I decided someone this insensitive should be “outed” and get an assertive reply.
It’s hard enough to deal with the issues in my own family – without RAD wrapped in. It’s frustrating how people are all too ready to dismiss the issues adoptive families can face without us ALSO having to deal with a complete absence of reading comprehension.
Sending you hugs and hope for a good’s night sleep!