Tired

I am very tired. I try to think right, do right – respect all people. But like anyone, I have my failings. I believe in honest self-examination but it can be hard, one can learn hard things about one’s self, and right now I am facing something I need to work on that I am downright embarassed by – so no, I don’t think I’ll go into details, but suffice it to say, the next time you see me (if you know me in real life), you might find I listen more and talk a WHOLE lot less.

Right now I am exhausted – C is still adjusting and SURPRISE I am also pregnant with son #3. He’ll be born right before my 45th birthday. I am thrilled that this appears to be a healthy pregnancy and terrified of trying to parent 3 sons. Freaked out that I will have 3 sons in elementary school when I turn 50. And so tired…

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Tired

    1. Thanks – this self examination has made me very uncomfortable, but I know I’ll be a better person for it – so, there you go. It’s something you might find interesting, as I am sure the issue is not unique to me, if you want to discuss it privately.

      1. I know what you mean — my recent forays into self-examination have been uncomfortable, too. I can’t say for sure they have made me a better person, though; greater self-knowledge does not necessarily lead to personal change. It just means I know all my flaws intimately, *every time* they occur. 😉 I’d love to discuss your self-examination privately — I would definitely be interested.

  1. Tracy

    I am so sorry that you are SO tired! And that your introspection has taken you somewhere embarrassing! I hope your energy returns soon! And just think … three times the smiles, three times the “I love you, Mommies,” so many more cute things they say… *hugs!* 🙂

  2. Deb – I will email off-line about what I realized. You make an interesting point and I have to say that for me, introspection is not good, but examination of behavior is positive. They aren’t the same thing for me. Possibly conversations there as well?

    Tracy – That’s the thing about self-examination. If it never hurts, we aren’t really doin it. But I do appreciate your support ALWAYS. You are a GREAT friend. I can’t believe all you ahve done for me and I am grateful that we found one another again.

  3. adjunctmom

    Okay, wow. Congratulations!!!!

    I know it really is tough when you find things that you don’t like about yourself, but it’s great that you’re working on it and that you have support. Seriously. 🙂

    I’m out here on the net if you need me.

    1. ALSuperMom

      CONGRATULATIONS!

      I have had a lot of time to think these days … I have made some adjustments myself, and I realize that it is a never ending process – adjustment.

      By the way, make sure that your blood iron level is where it should be; anemia can really make you feel like a used paper bag.

      1. Thanks. I took an iron pill right after I read your comment. I do forget to take them.

        Yes, I have recently had to face that I have some biases I thought I’d outgrown, and while I am not a jerk about it, I do sometimes talk when I should listen, and do sometimes ask questions when I should be silent, because of these biases. I will be keeping an eye on myself moving forward.

        I wish none of us ever learned to have ANY biases, but once formed, it’s a never-ending process to try to outgrow them. It makes me sad. And it means I am sometimes not as respectful as I should be to people I adore. I am trying to accept that this is a process that I must always work on, and that knowing that is better than me pretending I don’t have any work to do…I suppose we all do.

        But it was hard for me to face. I love my friends, and my fellow humans, so truly – but that is not quite good enough…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s