What People Who Don’t Have Kids Don’t Know – The Comic Genius of a 3 Year Old. No really.

"We are completely harmless. Honest."

I wrote this awhile back, but am just now posting it. The toy-eating toilet has been replaced.  I had to wait for that; otherwise, the tragedy was just too personal.

“Feed me Seymour! Feed me, Sey – Uh Oh!”

What People Who Don’t Have Kids Don’t Know – The Comic Genius of a 3 Year Old.  No really.


Well, okay, maybe you do know this.  I just love that header. So sue me; it’s about as obnoxious as I get here.  Although, if I think you and I have an “in joke”, I will be quite obnoxious, because I will beat that joke to death (so you’ve been warned).  And maybe you shouldn’t trust me here, because (as the previous sentence so clearly illustrates) I am not funny…but…

I think that three-year olds are geniuses of comedy. Not usually when they’re trying though…although a shoe-hat or an offer of poopy-pie can get funnier with repetition.  Would you like some poopy-pie? Would you like some poopy-pie? Do you like my hat? Would you like some poopy piiiiiiiiiiieeeee!??????????????


But it gets better.  At my house, the boys are currently being rerouted to Mom and Dad’s bathroom.  The boy’s toilet is duct taped shut for the day (by their Daddy).  The score is Cowboys 1, Toilet 0.

Before I had kids I thought I knew a lot…I mean I was “humble” in that “the more I know, the less I know” kind of way, but I still thought I was pretty smart.  In retrospect, there were so many things I didn’t know. For example, I had no idea that a nice long bath is a luxury, especially if you like to bathe without visitors – even visitors who have come to amaze you with how they’ve put socks on their hands.  I also had no idea how many toys you could flush down the toilet before it stopped working (two).

C has taught me many things, and this week it was – one small wooden block, one small plastic cowboy, and voila!  It’s possible this is only comic to me because I was not the one cleaning it up.  I got to sit at work and imagine Mr. Coffee in an “I Love Lucy” scenario.  And it’s even funnier when you do love Lucy.  I didn’t know that before either!

One thing that I did know was what it was like to be a kid.  This is pretty valuable.  Sure is. But oddly, I do not remember 3.  Well, okay, maybe that’s not odd.  But today, as I reveled in C’s “3-year-old -ness”, I realized that I not only did not remember what it was like for me to be 3, but I didn’t remember what it was like for M (aka son #1) to be 3 either!   This strange forgetfulness is common in parents. It’s why some parents “remember” that their child was speaking in complete sentences, potty-trained, and a guest on the Lehrer Report when he was one.

So, recently, when C taught us that one small wooden block and a cowboy = the potty will not flush (and Daddy duct-taping it shut, because Daddy’s like that), I wondered what I had forgotten from M’s 3rd year. After all, he hadn’t put cowboys down the toilet or offered me poopy pie. But I was sure he had his own form of comic “3-year old-ness” that I simply could not recall.  So I pulled out the book I have been keeping for him and checked back to see what I had written about him then.  Here it is:

M… is singing “Mary Has a Little Lamb”, here are the words…

Mary had a metal man, metal man, metal man

Mary had a metal man, his feet were wide as goatssssssssssss!


4 thoughts on “What People Who Don’t Have Kids Don’t Know – The Comic Genius of a 3 Year Old. No really.

  1. metal man…made me laugh out loud!

    Dealing with a teenager, I am longing for a baby 🙂 Babies do not talk back and they still think you are the coolest person ever…

    On the other hand,my beloved teenager will be out of the house in 4 years.And every time I think about that I cry 😦 Go figure…

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