An Open Letter to Costume Shops

Dear Costume Shops,

My boys love for me to dress up on Halloween.  And I like to do these kinds of small things for them.  It’s something they’ll remember when they’re grown.  Ideally, they will remember with love.

Now, I got C’s for effort in home-ec; I don’t sew.  Unlike my boys, I am unlikely to put on a costume to celebrate Wednesday.  And my family does not have additional younger (or smaller) Mommies who will wear the costume for years to come.  I am pretty much okay with all of that.  But – if I am going to spend $($$) on my costume, I want it to give me years of possibilities.

This year on October 31, my oldest boy will be donning Quidditch robes, glasses, and waving around an expensive plastic stick.  I felt foolish for paying for that plastic replica of a stick, but I was pretty excited about the rest.  And I had tons of options. Or so I thought.

Last week I Googled “Adult Costumes, Women, Wizard”.  This is what I found:

Are you friggin’ kidding me?  There are numerous adult females in those 7 books and not one of them works as a “Sexy School Girl” in a strip club. Not one.

I kept looking.  I could be a sexy wizard, or a sexy zombie, or a sexy vampire, or a sexy Freddie Krueger (I kid you not).  But lest I lose all hope, you do give me a few non-sexy options.  After all, you also offer this:

Maybe I’ll just carry a stuffed gorilla and say I’m Jane Goodall.

Sincerely not at all happy about this,



13 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Costume Shops

    1. Yes – but it wouldn’t mean anything to my kids yet. The year I put on one of grand-dad’s hats and said I was Othniel Marsh meant more….but those days are behind us for now…

  1. I haven’t dressed up for years. You’d have to make your own costume to be appropriate for a party with co-workers. (We had a costume party at work a few years ago and someone wore a skin tight police woman costume, complete with the night stick and handcuffs. Not appropriate!)

    I’m shocked at how ‘sexy’ young girls’ costumes are, too. I’ve wondered why parents aren’t outraged. I only have boys, but if I had a girl, she most certainly would not be wearing a cleavage-enhancing Little Bo Beep costume.

    P.S. I recommend you go with bacon: the vertical stripes of the bacon’s fat are slenderizing. The egg whites add hips. Yes, go be ‘sexy’ bacon. Just trying to help 🙂

    1. “We had a costume party at work a few years ago and someone wore a skin tight police woman costume, complete with the night stick and handcuffs.”


      Every year at Halloween, I am glad that I only have sons!

      Thanks for the tip on being SEXY bacon! ; )

  2. Arjun Sharma

    Hey great post 🙂 really enjoyed reading it. if you find the time do check out my blog as well. thanks.

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